The Roaring Twenties

Only my most heartfelt congratulations

From the time when we tussled in the sand during orientation games more than a decade ago, I had known that we would be constants for the four very eventful years of university. It is mostly to your credit, and also my greatest pleasure, that I could be present for the biggest day of your life two weeks ago. I have saved the more intimate bits in private letters and closed-door conversations but what I will pay tribute to here is a celebration to life and love that we will all remember in decades to come.

Your choice of venue was impeccable, and you said it as much in your opening speech. While ATLAS is home to a cocktail program that ranks it as one of the top 50 bars in the world, what leaves the biggest and most immediate impression is perhaps the Art Deco architecture and how over-the-top and resplendent it all is. I could rave about the 15-minute totem of a glass tower bedecked with tincture after tincture of gin goodness. Or the giant murals plastered over the ceiling, plush velvet carpets beneath our feet and the ornate leather booths and gold detailing. Combined, one is instantly transported from the concrete, humid jungle of Singapore 100 years to the past and 10,000 km away to the scene of Jay Gatsby’s parties.

You had intended this night to be more than just your wedding. At this point, most of us are accustomed to the round banquet tables across hotels in Singapore where guests are served a ten-course meal and resign themselves to their assigned seat for the 3-4 hours of the program. From the get-go, you decided that yours would not be one of those weddings. Instead, the people from different parts of your past would mingle with one another in the present to form new beginnings for the future. All with you and your husband at the center. How else could you explain a Bingo game where guests have to find other guests who have travelled with the couple, can speak 3 languages, have been to a karaoke session with you, or have already retired? Or the adjacent rectangular tables of different groups of guests joined by a contiguous sofa contained within a leather booth?

Your menu (or lackthereof) was the point. The cheese platter at the start of program was divine and each of the tapas served during the course of the night were impeccable. But the highlight was surely the free flow of gin cocktails for the entire night. Presumably, there were only three choices including a gimlet and a martini. Though one only needs to look at a waiter squarely in the eye and order a gin and tonic before the iconic highball arrives. Suffice to say, I made quite a bit of eye contact with the waiters that night, though less squarely as the night went on.

Before the booze

I arrived sweltering in a tailored suit and top hat not quite designed for Singapore’s tropical climate or my hyperactive sweat glands by public transport. After re-grouping with a dear friend who had also flown in for the festivity, we made our way to the lobby and was instantly whisked away to a different world. A world that starts off with an old-world refinement and the civility that comes with it. That was how I greeted familiar faces whom I knew but were not especially close to and therefore had not met up since we graduated seven years ago.

We milled around at our table exchanging a few pleasantries before getting up and proceeding to the photoshoot area. It was a stiff shot to say the least, even more so than the martini on the menu. What broke the ice a little was catching a glimpse of you. You were ravishing, and all of us couldn’t help but gasp at your hard-won svelte silhouette which your sleeveless wedding gown fully complemented. What caused our gaze to rest a little longer was the intricate white lacy/floral/veil headpiece more effective and subtle than a diamond-encrusted tiara in proclaiming who the queen is for the day.

This is what a bride looks like in full bloom.

In full bloom

Back at the table, we continued with some small talk before more friends from your faculty arrived. Making way for them to catch up at long last, I siddled over to the adjacent table where a couple I wasn’t familiar was seated. He was dressed in a navy vest over a white collared shirt with sleeves upturned to reveal thick, tattooed forearms. She was decked in a loose-fitting pale pink sequinned gown and the more gregarious between the both of them. That was how I learnt that they were both from Hong Kong and that her partner is also the groom’s long-time gaming friend.

With my quick replies in Cantonese, I could see her visible excitement at being seated next to a compatriot-of-sorts. Speaking a common tongue (perhaps except for English) is easily one of the fastest ways to bond with strangers. After all, a facility in every other language almost certainly implies a common cultural heritage or a deliberate attempt and appreciation for it. She gently ribbed her partner’s inability to speak Cantonese despite growing up in Hong Kong and he grinned sheepishly in return.

Almost on cue, the emcee announced the start of the night’s festivities and we began with our first round of drinks. My go-to G&T was as refreshing as it was delicious. Then came the gimlet, and then the martini, followed by cycle after cycle of drinks. I couldn’t quite remember the order or even the number of drinks I waved at the waiter to order that night. But what I could recall were some of the snippets of conversations and some of the crazy fun we had as we relived our student days. This time with adult money, wisdom and common understanding that a night like this is perhaps once-in-a-lifetime for all of us in the bar.

I learnt about the recent break-up of an 8-year relationship of another dear friend when she came over to my table for a catch-up. Perhaps it was the quiver in her eyes but I told her to bring her drink over as well just before she broke the news to me. Then there was another conversation about another DINK friend’s solid and stable career and life trajectory and how she felt like there was no need to work if she did not want to. I congratulated her on having won this optionality in her life. Next came an acquaintance whom I embraced upon eye contact almost on instinct. With her, I shared about my desire to return to Singapore for family reasons, something which resonated with her.

There were the staple ‘yam-seng’ toasts, one of the few shared traditions between your wedding and the traditional benchmark. Surely, there wasn’t anyone in attendance who had the air supply to drag out the first note of the toasts in a single breath. What our corner of the bar certainly had enough breath for was the karaoke session which you kickstarted. If only a select few had the privilege to sing with you before that night, now everyone who was in attendance can claim that spot on the Bingo sheet.

Taking center-stage

You played all the greatest hits that we grew up with, from Taylor Swift’s Love Story to Justin Timberlake’s Sexyback to The Killer’s Mr Brightside. These were all songs so etched in our psyche that our generation did not need lyrics on a screen to sing along to. These were all songs that set all our hearts on fire when we had our bellies fuelled with booze. These were all songs that we were all belting along to with you, hands up in the air with not a care in the world.

Not a care in the world

It was without this care that I found myself clambering up the spiral gilded staircase to the stage where the resident band was at. There was a middle-aged man whom I did not know standing there but it did not matter then. (I only learnt a few days later that that was the groom’s uncle and I had essentially upstaged him oops). The resident band singer graciously passed a mike to me and next thing I knew, we were singing 邓丽君’s 月亮代表我的心 and another number from 张学友 that I heard for the first time. As we crooned one ballad after another, the crowd swayed along and at the center of it all were you and your husband. This one’s for you.

Two uncles belting out ballads

At the end of that very impromptu performance, I staggered down the steps and back to my seat possibly more delirious and inebriated than before listening to my friends take over and cover the next couple of songs. The night was getting progressively wilder, my memories progressively hazier and my behavior progressively more unhinged. If I had been more sensible, it would have been a good time to ask for water and stop indulging. But this wasn’t a time for sensibility; it was a time for decadance with faces old and new.

Cheers with faces old and new

Towards the end of the night, a human train spontaneously formed. Just like those high-society parties in New York back in the 1920’s, what started out with civility and elegance had flourished into full-fledged bacchanalia. What joy as we put our hands on the shoulders of a stranger and chugged along aimlessly and without abandon across the bar and as the band presided above. I can’t remember the music, but I can remember the wild-eyed elation of what it is to be alive.

As clear as I remember it

There was a price to pay in the coming days, but that night was worth every pain and inconvenience and then some. In post-party reflections, many of us conceded that it was the party we didn’t know we needed; we had such a great, great time. That it was probably as memorable for us as it was for you and the your husband.

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

In the final line of The Great Gatsby, Nick Carraway ended with this lament about how as humans, we struggle to move forward while being invitably pulled back by history, memories and personal illusions. True as that may be, we can now say that this past now includes this wedding party you threw for us all in the final year of your twenties in the true spirit of the Roaring Twenties.

It is a past that even forty years later, with our minds and outlooks buffeted by the sands of time, we would recall with much fondness and a smidge of incredulity. That (at least) once, we all had the time of our lives.

Thank you for the love and the time of our lives

50 seconds of fame

If you’re just interested in yours truly, hop over to 9:38 and 15:00

I’d like to say that my three-month absence from posting was because I was focused on my efforts on being famous. The bar here isn’t particularly high: I just had to be Singaporean and happen to walk along the Yaesu side of Tokyo Station at noon in the sauna that is summer here and agree to come for a Singaporean-themed dinner. If you know how good Singapore food is, you would know that there isn’t a lick of sarcasm at all here.

The fame though does come with an unintended consequence. People whom I have had not kept in contact for a long time found an opportunity to reach out to me. And some of these people include my ex-students who have blossomed into fine, young women. That is how we found ourselves trying to bridge the gulf of 7 years since they graduated from my Chemistry cram school classes, bonding that is neither ionic or covalent.

I fielded their questions as I had all those years before, patiently and honestly. The key difference now though is that I had just as many questions for them and how their lives have turned out to date. One of them is now an engineer at a top-tier semiconductor firm, and the other is an air stewardess with the airline that sponsored the production above. Life always has a way of coming full circle.

In turn, I surpised them with the fact that I am now working as an IT consultant. That’s not exactly the occupation that they thought I would be in; perhaps something in finance given that I was working towards an accounting degree then. Perhaps a surer bet would have been full-time cram school teacher. Truth be told, I might really have become one given how much freedom and enjoyment I was getting from that side gig. But at the end of the day, the heart of that job involved rehashing content I had learnt 7 years prior and there was very little room for my own growth. Consulting promised a little bit more and then some. Especially if it’s in a language that you could not speak and in a country which you do not come from.

And grow I did in so many different capacities. Not least of which is being a Singaporean overseas. There is something to be said about this community, of which a certain dose of intrepidity appears to be a common trait. Singapore is as comfortable as it gets for a home country, with the government looking out for just about every material need of its people. Rules are clear (and plenty), taxes are low (happy to pay Singaporean tax anytime now) and administration is transparent and efficient. You would need courage to want to go anywhere else. That or blindness and ignorance to the privilege that comes from Singaporean.

It’s a privilege that is especially immense in jobs. The strict quota on companies for hiring foreigners (8% for services firm, and 25% for manufacturing firms) means that Singaporeans are essentially competing in a different, more lenient labour market as hiring Singaporeans becomes the horse that comes before the cart. Companies accept this because the higher cost of labour, as opposed to having no restrictions on who and in what order to hire, is offset by the favourable business climate here. But with jobs becoming less defined by geography, there is only so much that regulation can do to continue protecting these jobs. This is not to say that Singaporeans are not deserving of what we have. We do work hard and compete and strive to be world-class, all while preserving the social compact with our government. But would my peers be able to earn what they are earning if the labour market were absolutely free from fetters?

This privilege is also evident in public housing. I am of the age where half my peers are homeowners (well, even one of the aforementioned ex-students will be one) and the other half are figuring out their lives (this is where yours truly is). Discussions inadvertently turn to how much one has paid for housing and many bemoan how expensive even a BTO (Built-to-Order flats, typically seen as new entry-level public housing) is. But they haven’t seen how much a shoebox in Tokyo is going for these days even with the pummelled yen. Boon Lay is considered the Wild West back in Singapore, but in Tokyo, that distance from the city center is normal, if not close. And that’s before we get to the quality of public housing from the Housing Development Board (HDB). I have shown my colleagues images of the Pinnacle at Duxton and just about everyone finds it hard to recover from their shock that this is public housing in Singapore; this would have been a top-tier “Tower Mansion” in Tokyo in stature, amenities and location.

To be fair, this is a flagship project to commemorate the success of HDB in its early years

As a foreigner amongst other foreigners in Tokyo, there is no explicit privilege that we are accorded for holding the most powerful passport in the world. Perhaps some people might be able to discern where we come from our accent and the relative sloppiness of the dressing. That, and an understated drive for competence and relevance. It was a passing comment from my German manager here, and a tip of the hat to our efforts and reputation. The point sinks in further in an environment where I get to work with people from different cultural backgrounds and realized that these are not qualities to be taken for granted.

Then there is our obsession about money. Specifically, more of its acquision, storage and proliferation than its expenditure. At a Singaporean gathering here, the undercurrents begin tugging at you from a range of benign angles on current affairs. The weakening yen. A declining working population and its ramifications on the Japanese pension system. One feels the pull and inadvertently surrenders to the maelstrom out of equal parts habit and curiosity about our compatriots. Before we know it, we find ourselves drowning in discussions about our financial beliefs and tactics.

Help.

Thankfully, food is the other favourite focus apart from finances. I listen with relish whenever someone shares about their haunts when hunger for Hokkien mee hits. There are enough Hainanese chicken rice outlets now to drive a debate on which is the absolute best one, and which has the best value-for-money (there is no escaping this huh). When someone from home comes over, they inadvertently bring a savoury souvenir with them. Vacuum-packed slices of bak kwa (smoky pork jerky). A bottle of hae bee hiam (spicy dried shrimp) rolls. The mouth waters.

So at The Smart Local-organized National Day Celebration event at a Singapore entity-owned hotel a stone’s throw away from the Imperial Palace, we dug into the local favourites. Not just food, but also songs as the de facto national anthem streams throughout the entire dining room. Conversations dribble to a pause and everyone was soon singing along to the 1998 hit.

This is home, truly. Where I know I must be. Where my dreams wait for me, where the river always flows.

Home, Kit Chan

Home is where the heart is. And the heart bleeds red and white, in the silhoutte of a new moon and five stars arising out of the stormy sea.

Happy birthday Singapore. You’ll always be home.